It’s that time of year. Time to gather with family, relax, and enjoy time off from work (unless you work on Black Friday, in which case I’m sorry). One thing you might want to do is play some Thanksgiving-themed games…Well, you could if there were any. (Editor’s Note: Does Assassin’s Creed III count?) Now, I’m sure someone in the comments will inevitably call the Turkey Police and hit me with an “ACKchully,” but, let’s be real here: You don’t see Thanksgiving or turkeys utilized in video games much. With that in mind, I dug through some of the depths of PlayStation games—dating back to the original gray box itself—to find some of the console family’s best worst turkeys.
Here are five of the best worst turkeys in their respective games on PlayStation:
The Five Best Worst Turkeys on PlayStation
‘Realistic’ Turkeys
Wild Turkey Hunter – PS4
At this point, it shouldn’t be surprising to see a game like Wild Turkey Hunter on PS4. The system is full of awful hidden gems found on the PSN, but very few can (or would want to) boast about “realistic turkey behavior.” In Wild Turkey Hunt, you—wait for it—hunt wild turkeys. But don’t expect them to pose much of a threat like the deadly beasts in Cabela games. The fact that the game is literally only comprised of slow-moving turkeys is excruciating enough, but there’s something oddly satisfying about blasting them into oblivion with a shotgun. Would it surprise you to learn that there’s a PSVR version too?
Super Turkeys
ARK: Survival Evolved – PS4
Unlike the previous entry, ARK: Survival Evolved’s turkeys are extremely deadly. They’re called Super Turkeys for a reason and you definitely don’t want to come across one without the proper gear to handle it. In fact, I came across a video online in which a it took a player FIVE MINUTES of continuous spear-stabbing to take one out. Who’d have thought you’d have an easier time taking down a freaking dinosaur than a seemingly harmless turkey?
Evil Mutant Turkeys
South Park – PS1
Ooooof, this game and its turkeys are a mess. While the turkeys aren’t too terribly deadly, the fact that they charge at you with such confidence, such gall, and with such a seemingly unwarranted vendetta against you is worrisome. Luckily, the boys of South Park come armed with their trusty snowballs; Or if you really want to show those turkeys who’s boss, why not use your cow-launcher to deal with them? Can’t think of a better way to moooooove them out of the way.
Cooked Turkey
Shovel Knight – PS3, PS4, PS Vita
In Shovel Knight, the turkeys you find won’t attack you. Quite the contrary: These turkeys are found on silver platters and give you health. So, yeah, they’re pretty awesome. That’s it. Send tweet.
Getting a Turkey While Bowling
Grand Theft Auto IV – PS3
And finally, the best turkey of all: Getting a turkey in Grand Theft Auto IV’s bowling mini-game and earning a Trophy for your troubles. Well, it might be cheating since it’s not actually a turkey, but the good news is that if you come across one, you’re likely an extremely lucky or skilled player. The bowling mini-game seems to have outlived the reputation of the game itself, introducing meme-worthy lines like “hey, Niko! Let’s go bowling!” To come across this rare bird, you must get three strikes in a row, which is way harder than you might think. Luckily, you get a trophy for the task at hand, so it’s all worth it. Nothing says Thanksgiving like bowling with your cousin in Grand Theft Auto, right? He is family, after all.
And there you have it, folks; Some of PlayStation’s best worst turkeys. What did you think of the list? Were there any we missed? Let us know, and Happy Thanksgiving!